A Ton on My Mind

I didn't get much opportunity to work or even update my blog this past week because there's been a whirlwind of stuff going on here.

The first thing and probably the biggest distraction lately has been the house hunt. There are so many major decisions that have to be made in such a short amount of time that my head is spinning. I don't want to make the wrong decision and screw myself over in the long run, you know? It's hard.

I'm considering getting a double-wide trailer and letting my brother move in with me, to help out with the kids and also to help with the rent. My brother Adam lives in an RV right now, so he's very interested in moving in with me. The drawback to this is that Adam hasn't always been the most dependable person in the world.

Right now, he has a job and it's been working out well for him. However, he has a history of losing jobs. Should he lose his job, it would be hard for me to make ends meet. But if he does good, he would be a huge asset to have living with me. He really is good with the kids. I don't know. I've got too much to think about.

As far as work is concerned, I'm going to take some more time to improve my Zazzle store. The reason behind this is because when I added more products a couple of months back, I immediately doubled my earnings. I went from around $30/month to $67. It just seems like a better use of my time right now. I can't seem to make the time to focus on my writing. With Zazzle, I can work in bursts. I can throw up 50 new products in one weekend and reap the rewards of that forever. My time would have more monetary value with Zazzle I think.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still going to write Squidoo lenses as time permits, in the hopes that one day I'll have enough available time to be a "real writer." But for now I'm not a writer, I don't have time to be -- just like I don't have time to be an artist. I'll settle for t-shirt designer if it's the thing that's most likely to help pay the bills. I have the rest of my life to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. For now, it's more about what I need to be to get by.

I'm Back!

As it turns out, the reason I was feeling so terrible with this last cold was that is wasn't just a cold, it turned into pneumonia. So I went to the doctor and got some heavy antibiotics and was put on a nebulizer. I'm getting better and starting to feel back to normal again so I'm getting back into the swing of things.

On Friday I took Eva and Adrien to Ethan's school, The Children's Center, for their Fall Festival party. Ethan got to go to class dressed in his Halloween costume. He was a punk rocker this year. I went all out! I buzzed his hair into a real mohawk, dressed him in cool clothes, gave him those fake tattoo sleeves and punk bracelets. Everyone thought he looked awesome and a couple of people said he looked like a pint-sized Travis Barker. I forgot to take photos, but his teacher took some and I'm trying to see if she'll email them to me. All in all it was a hit and everyone had fun.

Today I'm getting back to work. I've got to write a few new lenses and do some more promo work. The last couple of lenses I put out were Fast and Easy Makeup for Busy Moms and How to Make Skin Lightening Cream at Home.

The house hunt is still going on. In fact, my parents are in Clanton right now looking at a four bedroom single wide trailer. Four bedrooms would rock! I sure hope everything works out and I can get it! My fingers are crossed that they have good news when they come home. ;)

That's it! I'm Ordering a Biohazard Suit...

I'm sick. I'm talking fever, chills, body aches, stuffy nose, hacking cough, so tired I could strangle anyone who threatens my rest like a grizzly bear kind of sick. Boo Boo's home from school today because he's coughing pretty bad too. Adrien's cough from last week is mysteriously coming back (reinfection?) and baby Eva's nose started running again today as well.

I can't handle germs anymore. I'm DONE! Every single school year we get on this never ending merry-go-round of sickness that lasts for months. I'm fed up with it. Do my kids and I have no immunity whatsoever? We take vitamins, drink juice, try to eat fruits and vegetables often. What gives?

After a few months of this I'll start losing my mind and psychotically cleaning everything because I'll be convinced the house is what's making us sick. I'm serious. I do it every year. The germs literally drive me to the point of insanity.

I'm not ready to go through this again. As much as I love fall and winter, spring just can't get here fast enough for me. I don't know when I'll be back to writing again. As of this moment, I'm on sick leave.

Today's Mission

Aside from doing the dishes and the laundry (which I've already gotten under control because I'm awesome) I've got some work to do on Squidoo today.

First, I'll be writing a new lens. I'm not sure what the topic will be, but I'll figure something out. Next I've got to spruce up a few of my other lenses that aren't really seeing much traffic. Then it's time to promote them all a little more on various social bookmarking sites and what not. And finally I'll open a Xomba account and start writing a few short articles that link back to my lenses.

Boo Boo and I are sick with colds, but thanks to some cold medicine we're feeling pretty decent for the time being. By the way, Boo Boo is Ethan. That's been his nickname ever since Adrien was a baby. And no, there's no relation to Honey Boo Boo. We may be Alabama hicks but we're classier than that. ;)

So that's the schedule for today. Wish me luck. I've got to run for now because Mr. Boo Boo is sitting at the dinning room table trying to let me know that he's ready for lunch. He might not be able to talk, but he knows how to get his point across!

My Blog Gets a Makeover & My Twitter Followers are Pervs

As you might have noticed, the blog is looking especially fabulous these days. That's because I spent the entire freaking day (no joke) hand drawing a new banner image. I did it with Photoshop and I think it's pretty awesome, if I may say so myself.

You may be thinking "well if you can draw digital art like that, then why aren't you selling it and making money that way?" Seems like a no-brainer doesn't it? Unfortunately, digital art takes an unholy amount of time and time is something I just don't have. Maybe one of these days I'll be an artist, but not today friend. Not today.

In other news, my twitter followers are perverts. Yesterday, I tweeted about my latest blog post saying something like "So this writing thing is not taking off yet. Maybe I'd do better as a stripper. Gotta bring home the bacon some how!" Yeah... the link I put at the end of that tweet got clicked like nobody's business.

The joke's on them though. Instead of nudie pics, all they got was a semi-depressing blog post about how I'm not doing well with my writing. Ha! Why didn't I think about using misleading tweets to gain traffic sooner?

In all honesty, it was supposed to be funny. I guess one of two things happened, either everyone really thought it was funny and that's why they clicked, or I have a really warped sense of humor and my joke ruined the day of people surfing the internet for naked chicks. Either way, I'm amused.

Fear and Doubt

I'm starting to get scared. It's getting real close to the day that my kids and I move out of my parents house. We've been looking at trailers and it's almost time to start making a decision on which one we're getting. Part of me is thrilled at the thought of having my own place again and no longer sleeping on a couch bed with my four year old, but I'm mostly terrified of how I'm going to make ends meet.

One life saver will be in the child support and temporary alimony I'll be getting. However, my husband wasn't a millionaire, so it certainly won't be enough to live off of.

I've made like 4 bucks with Squidoo. Don't spend it all in one place right? I'm getting worried that freelance writing isn't a viable option for me anymore. I just flat out don't have the time. You can't work only a couple of hours a day at freelance writing. It takes way more commitment than that. But a couple of hours a day, or sometimes less, is all I've got.

I can't get a mainstream job because then who would care for Ethan? The younger two would be fine in daycare if that's what had to be done, but not Ethan. I wish I could afford a nurse to care for him in the afternoons and during the summer time so I could just go to work and support my family like everyone else. It sure would be easier than trying like hell to find time to write articles online that may or may not ever help pay the bills. I'm really scared.

I think I'll be a phone sex operator. Now that's where the money is! I'm joking of course (or am I)? All I know is there's got to be a better way. I don't think writing is going to cut it for me right now. Maybe I should learn to make something and sell it on eBay. Who am I kidding? I can't sew or do anything that they teach in home-ec. I took wood shop in high school. Not to learn how to make stuff though, I took it for the boys. Needless to say I'm not crafty in the least.

Lord, give me a sign. Tell me how I'm supposed to financially support my family with virtually no means to do so? Sometimes it feels like all the paths in my life lead to a dead end. But I'm not giving up, I'm just a tad bit worn out. Perhaps I'll feel more optimistic in the morning.

Squidoo Wrap Up

You know how I said my biggest problem trying to make money with Squidoo is that I don't have time to write as many lenses as I need to? Well it's been a little over a month on Squidoo and I've only gotten 11 lenses so far. Ouch.

I had the bright idea to try to find some old eHow articles of mine to re-purpose into lenses. I was pretty sure they were saved on one of these old hard drives I have laying around. So I got out a USB to SATA/IDE cable to see what I could find. Unfortunately after much time spent screwing around with it, I couldn't get it to work. Fail.

So now I'm going to have to wait until I can get my hands on a desktop PC so I can just slave those old drives. Where I'm at now, there are only laptops and tablets. Oh well.

Anway, here are the 11 lenses I've got under my belt so far. I'm going to start work on a new one today about fast and easy makeup for busy moms. I came up with that idea while doing my own super-speedy makeup this morning. I thought "hey, I should write a lens about this." ;)

Pin-Up Girl Makeup Tips
What is BB Cream?
Easy Pin-up Girl Hairstyles
Batman Birthday Party Ideas
Cheap Booties for Women
Fajas for an Hourglass Figure
Top 5 Best Anti-Aging Body Washes
The Best Lip Plumpers Ever
Build a Bigger Butt Fast
Avon Sales Tips to Take Your Earnings to the Next Level
Affordable Fall Sweaters for Women

Bow to the Wrath of the Mighty Princess Eva!

My sweet baby princess Eva is teething. Yeah... four huge molars at one time. As if that isn't bad enough, emerging right along with her molars is a new, almost evil, personality. She has been in full diva mode for the past six days. I'm talking fussing, hitting, biting, screaming, throwing food and falling out into full blown tantrums on the floor. It's Eva's way or the highway. No negotiations.

Needless to say, my little diva does not think I should be working. In fact, she doesn't approve of me doing anything short of entertaining her. If I need to go pee, there's hell to pay when I get back. When I dress Ethan in the morning for school, she's in her playpen screaming what I can only imagine are obscenities in baby language.

She used to be a very good eater, but now if it isn't an oatmeal cream pie, it's going to end up on my face as she violently hurls it at me to show her disapproval. Who is this tyrant princess and where did my sweet angel go?

The tyrant is sleeping right now. I should be washing the pile of dishes in the sink, but it's 10 o'clock in the morning and I just needed to sit. I'm exhausted.

Ethan's gotten to the point that he can't stand to be around her (he's autistic remember?) and so he eats his dinner after she goes to bed because he can't handle her drama. Lord help, I think I need to call Nanny 911 on my one year old!

If anyone can give me some advice on how to handle this extreme personality shift, I'll gladly take it. I don't remember either one of my boys going through anything like this before. Please tell me it won't last long, because when baby ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Oh by the way, I managed to write that lens about BB Cream. Check it out here if you're interested. That's the only lens I've gotten done this week though, Princess's orders and all...

Got to Keep on Truckin'

I've been really down lately over all this divorce business. This morning was pretty bad because I had a dream about him where I was lying on his chest and telling him that I don't want to go, please don't let me go. Then to make things weirder, Adrien woke up and started walking around looking for his daddy. I told him daddy wasn't here and he argued with me that he had seen him and then started crying.

So I held him as he sobbed and told me how much he missed daddy. I think he must have been dreaming about him too. At any rate, it made for a difficult morning.

I prayed about it some and I told God that if there was any chance that my ex could change and be a bigger man for me and his kids that I needed a big sign. I need my ex to tell me that, without me asking. I'm just going to step back and let the Lord decide what happens here. I'm tired of always taking matters into my own hands, it never works out well in the end for me.

With all that said, I've got to get back in the saddle with my writing. I've slacked a bit this week due to the way I've been feeling. See, whenever I'm feeling bad I like to take the kids out shopping and to do things with them – basically anything to get me out of the house and my mind off of the bad stuff. As a result, I haven't been working as hard as I should have been on my career.

Today I'm finishing a lens that I've been working on for a couple of days about fall sweaters then I think I'll write a new one about B.B. cream (mainly because I just bought some and LOVE it). Don't know what B.B. cream is? Well wait for my lens and I'll tell you. Don't you dare Google it! Wait for me to fill you in. ;)

The gist of this post is, even when you're feeling like total crap and nothing seems to be going your way, you've just got to keep on truckin'. Put on your big-girl pants and take care of business. It won't be like this for long.

By the way, the video below is just because I'm really digging this song right now. So yeah.. enjoy.

Two Blog Posts in One Day. What am I a Nerd?

Yeah. Pretty much. First and foremost, I'm not writing about working from home tonight. Sorry, kids. I just needed to write because I think that's something nerds do when they have no friends to talk to. Might as well write to some random, anonymous strangers on the internet right?

I'm having a bad night. Just in a bad place for some reason. For those who don't know, divorce sucks. It's probably one of the suckiest things you'll ever go through in life. And that's why I'll never get married again. Ever.

Oh I'm not swearing off men. Not by a long shot. When this is all said and done, I'll go back to dating like I wasn't coming off of a 6 year withdrawal. But I'll never marry a man again. I'll never put myself in a situation to be hurt this badly again.

My mom and my brother are watching that comedy, “What to Expect When You're Expecting” and although it has a lot of comedians in it that I like, I'm having to sit with headphones in my ears and my back turned to the TV. Why? Because I can't handle anything talking about couples and families and new babies right now. That's how much divorce sucks.

My baby girl is just over a year old. Which means that just over a year ago, I was in a hospital room with my husband giving birth to our little angel. Before her first birthday, mommy and daddy were done. I'm not ok with that. In fact, I'm not ok with anything right now.

I've never had to feel this way before. Whenever I'd get out of one relationship, I'd run to nearest man-in-uniform (I had a thing for those types) to fix my broken ego. I wouldn't spend nights alone like a nerd. Like I am tonight.

But getting over a marriage is a bit more complicated than getting over a “relationship.” It hurts a lot. A whole lot. So I sit alone, avoiding anything that even hints at what I don't have anymore.

I must be some kind of pathetic. How do I let a man hurt me and yet somehow I'm the only one crying when I finally walk away. Whatever. I hate divorce, I wish I could have this over with by tomorrow, but I have to wait until the time is right – when everything is ready and in place. I hate feelings. Feelings are for girls. I need a beer.

Goodnight, internet. Don't be surprised if I delete this post tomorrow. I'll probably be embarrassed about it by then.

Where do I go from Here?

Alright, so I take back what I said about most people on Squidoo make money being kind of spammy. I ran into a few good folks who actually write some really nice stuff and are kind enough to disclose just how well they've been earning on their work.

Here's the drawback, these nice people have written hundreds of lenses. Yeah, I'm talking like 500 lenses plus. So does that mean if you want to produce quality work you have to do so in huge quantities to make a living? If that's the case, it's going to be a while before I get a payday. Like I said before, I only had 150 articles on eHow and that was over a year's time.

So do I stick with Squidoo and keep doing what I'm doing in the hopes that once I have a few hundred lenses under my belt I'll be doing well or do I move onto other ventures? I've got a lot to think about.

The problem I see is that I've got three kids at home, two of which are under five years old and are with me twenty-four hours a day. I only get to write while the baby is napping, so I don't have the time to pump out tons of lenses. Not to mention the fact that it takes me an eternity to write a lens because I'm such a perfectionist.

A friend of mine said that I would earn more money using my own Amazon modules, the trouble is that I don't know how to put my own modules in a lens. It always just comes out as a bunch of broken code. So I really need help figuring that one out.

The friend that made the suggestion is one of the good writers on Squidoo. Her name is Virginia and she writes very cool, informative lenses on really unique topics. I like her work. I think I'm going to focus on making people like her my Squidoo role models and forget about the spammy morons bragging about how to make cash by shoving affiliate links down your throat.

Virginia has an awesome lens about how much money she makes on Squidoo and how she does it. It's definitely worth a read, check it out here. But as I said before, she has way more lenses than I think I could ever produce on such limited time.

I think I'll take some time to look into other work at home possibilities. Another writer friend of mine, Lee Mellott, wrote a book called Work From Home Jobs: 101+ Real Companies That Pay! I'm going to pick up a copy tonight and see if anything stands out.

Until I find a better idea though, I'm going to keep working on Squidoo. Whether or not I'll ever see any cash from that work is still up in the air. I guess only time will tell.

Shameless Self Promotion

Lately I've been reading a lot of Squidoo lenses by people who are actually successful at it. I'm both inspired and perplexed by them. One thing I did notice amongst the big dogs was that they didn't write the way that I do. That got me thinking “man, I'm going about it all wrong.”

Squidoo is different than eHow used to be. Back in my eHow days I wrote about health and beauty, you know, the kinds of things you'd read about in a Cosmo magazine or something. Chick stuff. The articles were informative, like how to diminish fine lines and give yourself a home facial. From what I can tell with Squidoo however, successful lenses are less about information and more about selling you something. I don't know how I feel about that.

I look at it like this, if I wanted to be a sales person, I'd go apply for a job at the mall or sell used cars or something. I really like writing. I like researching a topic, trying out ideas and sharing how well they work with my readers. I like being informative, creative and helpful. I don't like being pushy. I don't like conning someone into thinking they're about to get help when really it's just a site full of spammy product links. It's not my style.

So here's my question. Can I make money on Squidoo by writing quality content or do I have to shamelessly self promote all of my affiliate programs on helpless readers? From what I can tell, most people who make good money on Squidoo do just that. I mean, I'm not hating on them for doing it, you've got to bring home the bacon some how you know? I just didn't necessarily want to do it that way.

I caved and made a lens full of shameless self promotion for my Zazzle store. On the other hand, I did provide good quality information in between the sales links. I'm not proud of it though. I like my other lenses better, the ones where I could just write about what I love. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like those types of lenses will make me any money.

I don't know. I've got to re-evaluate my approach to Squidoo. I can stay true to my writer instincts and produce good, magazine quality content or I can turn into the Sham-Wow guy and write a bunch of lenses in a voice that screams at you to buy my crap.

Thoughts? Anyone? Eva's pulling at my jeans as if she has some wise input for me. It's too bad I don't speak or understand baby language. Thanks anyway, cupcake.

Birthday Party Fun, Getting Over the Cold and Gaining Squidoo Traffic!

Needless to say, I had a pretty busy weekend. My younger two kiddos went to their dad's on Friday night and I spent most of it resting and trying to get over my cold. Saturday morning, I felt better so mom and I worked on getting the house clean for the Batman party we were having for Adrien on Sunday.

In between house work, I spent a little time researching ways to increase traffic to my Squidoo lenses. I read a few great articles on the subject and decided to give some of the ideas a go. They weren't that hard to set up and they've already made a decent difference in traffic.

I started by opening a stumble upon account. I stumbled and “liked” several pages and then “liked” a couple of my lenses. ;)

Then, I registered with a few Squidoo directories that allow you to submit your lenses along with a brief description. I look at it like this, even if the directories don't bring me traffic directly, the indirect effect of having more back-links will certainly help with the Google status of my lenses. Does that make sense?

Here are the services I'm currently using for lens promotion. It should be noted that one of these is a referral link, which means that if you sign up too, I'll get a little bonus. I've put an asterisk by it so you'd know which one it is. 

StumbleUpon

Love Blinks * 

LensRoll

RedGage

Kingdom of Squidoo

Obviously, I would also suggest promoting your lenses on your own social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Anyway, so that's what I worked on Saturday. Then on Sunday, I celebrated Adrien's 4^th birthday here at home with a bunch of friends and family. It went great and he and his brother and sister had a wonderful time! I'm very blessed to have the greatest people ever in my life. I've got to run for now, I'm working on a lens about Pin-up Girl Hairstyles. I'll share it with you in tomorrow's post. Later!

The Only Crappy Thing about School Season...

We're all sick! And we seem to stay sick all year long, I think. *Ugh*.

Being sick when you're a mom sucks. No seriously, it's the worst thing ever. Why? Because you still have to take care of everyone else and no one is going to take care of you. You're not allowed a sick day off of work. There's no calling in to the boss so you can stay home and get some rest. No. Instead, you load up on a bunch of cold medicine and orange juice, pull yourself together the best you can and take care of your little ones, which nine times out of ten are also sick whenever you are.

So yeah... my work from home ventures are on hold for the rest of this week. I've got to get myself and these babies well again before Adrien's birthday party this Sunday. I may do some light lens/blog promotion or something but I'm not going to kill myself trying to write everyday while I'm battling this cold and wiping little noses. *Shakes head* Nope.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to lay in bed with Adrien and watch Bubble Guppies. Ethan's at school (he's the only one not sick as of yet), baby Eva's taking a nap and Adrien and I are in our PJs watching cartoons and drinking juice. Yeah... that's pretty much the plan for the day. Catch up with you ladies when this mess is over.

Hard Work Pays Off...Even if It Does So Slowly.

I had a good day today. Starting to feel more optimistic. I think I'll blame the sappy, emo mood of my last post on PMS. Yeah, that was it...

Anyway, so as you may recall, my first project was to revamp my Zazzle store. I added a ton of new products, tweaked the store description a bit and drew a cute little banner image. Guess what? Sales are up! I've increased my sales by like 80%. Score! The lesson here is to always go back and revisit old projects, even if you didn't consider them very successful to begin with. A few minor tweaks could make a huge difference in profit.

I also wrote a really cool new Squidoo lens about vintage pin-up girl makeup. I have to say, I had fun writing that one. I've always been very fond of retro fashion and beauty. When I was a teenager, I had one wall in my room full of rock posters and clippings from Guitar World magazine, one wall dedicated to Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins, and one wall with framed print-outs of Marilyn Monroe and Rita Hayworth. An odd combination I know, but I was a strange little girl. ;)

I love all things vintage so much, that if I had the time and the money I'd dress like one of those rockabilly chicks everyday. Unfortunately, being a mother of three small children means little to no time for complicated hair and makeup routines and a very tiny allowance for fashion. My everyday wear consists of a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, usually with something funny written on it. I have a thing for t-shirt humor. Anyway, it's a long cry from pin-up vixen. Guess I'll have to try that look out when my kids are grown. I'll be the cougar in the red lipstick and hot pants.

Well it's about time for me to hit the hay. Tomorrow's going to be busy. I've got more writing/promoting to do plus I have to go pick up a birthday gift for my son, Adrien. He'll be turning 4 on the 25^th. I'm so excited!

D-Day is Nearing and I'm all Torn Up

I've been gone a few days because I've been getting some things ready for when the kids and I get out on our own. You see, I'm not technically divorced yet, the kids and I moved in with my folks about four months ago. I haven't gone through with the divorce already because I had some major ducks to get in a row first. Then, my SUV broke down and that cost a lot of money and time to fix, so that was a huge setback to my plans. Luckily it will finally be done on Friday, after spending a whopping three weeks in the shop!

Mom says that we'll go back to my lawyer soon, right after I tie up these last few loose ends. This week, I went to the eye doctor to get new glasses while I still have eye insurance. Next week I'm going to the dentist to get some work done before I lose dental insurance. We've also been looking for a place for us to live once the divorce is through.

That's really been the main reason for me stalling for this long is because Ethan goes to a special education school in Montgomery County. My parents live in Elmore County. So obviously, I've got to have a place to live in Montgomery before the divorce goes through. I don't want Ethan to get kicked out of his school, because there is no special education school in any of the surrounding counties.

I've been looking into food stamps and figuring out if we qualify and how to go about getting them. I hate the idea of being on food stamps, but honestly, when we first get out on our own, I won't be able to get by without them. Hopefully, I won't need the help for long. I'm busting my ass trying to get a real career going from home right now. But the sad fact is, I've got to swallow my pride and take the help at first, because it's going to be real hard on us financially.

All these preparations for D-day has brought on a bit of depression on my end too. My marriage is about to be officially over and I'm feeling kind of down about it.

When I left, I told him that I wouldn't come home unless he got counseling for the compulsive lying, infidelity and intimate neglect. That if he would show me he was serious that I would go back to marriage counseling with him again and we could work on things. But after everything that's happened, I needed to know he was serious this time. Well, needless to say he wouldn't go. In fact, he never even shed a tear over me. He never acted like he missed me at all after I left. He never said he loved me and wanted me to come home.

Some days I feel so lonely. Why am I so easy to say goodbye to? Why am I so easy to forget? For what it's worth, I loved him. If I didn't, I wouldn't have stayed as long as I did. I wouldn't have waited around like a sad little puppy begging for any scrap of attention he was willing to give.

I've been listening to that Bruno Mars song, “Grenade.” Yeah, that pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I would have died for him. I picked him over other guys because he had my heart from the day I met him. He was so cute, so shy, so sweet. His eyes seemed so deep and honest. When he looked at me it was like he was looking at my soul, and damn did it make me weak in the knees. I felt safe in his arms. I trusted him to not hurt me. But that trust didn't last long, yet it took me an eternity to finally let go.

When I'm feeling this down about losing him, losing my family, I have to remind myself just how bad things had really gotten in the end. I was so depressed, I could barely function. I didn't want to wake up in the morning. I was used up to the point that there was hardly anything left.

Since I've been back home with my parents, I've grown stronger. My smile is coming back. I'm being a better mother to my kids. I have things to look forward to now. My future isn't full of more tears, hurt and rejection. I can have the kind of life I want. Most importantly, I can be happy again.

I know deep down in my heart that going through this divorce is best for the kids. They weren't in a healthy environment back home, with Mommy and Daddy always fighting.

It's just hard. I mean, logically I know that this is for the best. I know that things are going to get better for us. But my heart is still broken, and it's a lot harder to reason with a broken heart than a sound mind.

So I just keep going forward, trying like hell not to look back, not to hesitate. I pray for strength everyday. I hug my babies and try to focus on how much better they're doing now since we've been gone. I think about the future and I work as hard as I can. I can't look back. I can't stop now.

He still crosses my mind a thousand times a day. The thought of him makes my foot hover over the break. That's pathetic. It's too late now. I have to do this. I have to move past him and on with my life. So bring on the divorce, I've got to get this over with before my niave heart does something stupid. It has a history of that, you know?

Playing the Waiting Game

So the Squidoo thing is slow. Painfully slow. Some days it's really hard to stay motivated to work for no pay. Especially, when you've got kids to support. So why the hell do I keep doing it? Because I've been through this before. I've played the revenue share waiting game before, and I know that it will eventually pay off.

Here's a little back-story on me. I first got into writing in 2009. I was selling Avon at the time and it wasn't working out well. So in an effort to gain more Avon customers and bring people to my online Avon store, I wrote a couple of articles about Avon skincare and cosmetics on a site called eHow.

eHow used to allow pretty much anyone to submit articles, and if they were successful, you'd earn a cut of the ad revenue. They called it the “Writer's Compensation Program.” I wasn't looking to be a writer, I just wanted to get the word out about my Avon store. A few months went by and I wasn't getting any additional Avon business, so I went back to eHow to check the stats on my articles to see if anyone was even reading them. To my surprise, I had earned like $20 on those two articles. As I sat at my desk, a cartoonish light bulb formed above my head and I said to myself “this is what I should be doing.”

I wrote a total of 150 articles for eHow and made anywhere from $400-600 a month. I had a ton of readers, nice first-page Google results and my articles had steadily increasing earning each month. My income was growing and I was headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, just as I was getting started, the WCP was discontinued. Bummer right?

I was pregnant with Eva when this happened, so I thought it was probably for the best because I wasn't going to have time to work from home once she's born anyway.

Fast forward to today and here I am starting all over again, this time with Squidoo. And let me tell you, those first couple of months are grueling! Honestly, if it wasn't for my experience with eHow in the past, I'd probably want to give up right now.

But I don't. I carry on holding tightly to the faith that in the end, this will pay off. It's like driving in a thick fog. I can't see the road in front of me, but I've traveled this road before and I know if I keep pushing the gas and holding the wheel straight, I'll eventually get there.

I've got to go write some more lenses. I'm having trouble coming up with topics, though. On the plus side, some Giant Squids liked my latest lens about lip plumpers. So maybe I should write something else beauty related? I don't know. I'm watching America's Next Top Model with my mom right now and I'm feeling no inspiration at all. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better and pull off a good one. ;)

Being the New Kid at Internet High

Starting from the bottom isn't easy. It takes a ton of work, an ungodly amount of time and a supernatural level of patience. If you're working from home, odds are, you're doing something online. Conducting business on the web is like trying to win a popularity contest at the world's largest high school. As the new kid at school, you'll go unnoticed by the “in-crowd” and most everyone else for that matter. No one will ever see your work, buy your products or give you any kind of praise if you don't figure out how to stand out and get noticed.

I'm a great example of this. As of right now, I'm nobody. If you're taking the time to read my blog, you're in a small minority, and I thank you for your support. ;) But behind the scenes, I'm working hard to get the word out. In addition to working on my blog, my store and my lenses, I'm also networking.

Here's the thing about networking. Please don't waste your time spamming everyone with desperate cries for attention to whatever it is you're selling. Of course you want to share your work and gain traffic, but the biggest area you should focus on is building relationships with the other kids in school. Nobody cares how cool you are if you have no friends, right?

Start by reading and commenting on other people's blogs. Be generous with praise and really take the time to get to know the others out there who are just trying to make a living like you. Pay close attention to the “in-crowd”, the big-time bloggers and social media gurus who are successful. You can learn a lot from those who have gone before you. Befriend them, write to them, follow them, whatever. But most importantly, learn from them and apply that knowledge to your own projects.

The more good connections you make online, the more you'll get noticed. So in addition to your work this week, take some time to network and begin creating an identity for yourself online. The more you give to the online community, the more you'll get in return. Now get out there and network like a boss! No seriously, do it. You'll thank me later.

And the New Project Is... Squidoo!

Last week, while I was working on overhauling my Zazzle store, I was also researching a potential new work-from-home venue, Squidoo. Thanks to the advice of some fellow writer friends of mine, I decided to give it a try.

If you're not familiar with Squidoo, read up on it here. In a nutshell, it's a place to write articles (called lenses) about whatever topic you're interested in. Squidoo will pay you a cut of the ad revenue/affiliate sales that your lens brings in.

If you're good at writing, and knowledgeable about a variety of things, then Squidoo might be right up your alley. As for me, I'm starting out writing about health and beauty topics. Not just because they are of interest to me, but also because before I got married I was a certified medical assistant, and at one point I was an Avon beauty consultant. So naturally, health and beauty are my strongest areas.

I've made two lenses so far. My first was about exercises to make your booty bigger and the second was about the new fashion trend, fajas. Let me know what you think.
 

Is there any real money to be made with Squidoo? Only time will tell. But if you need some convincing, check out this article by a woman who makes some pretty serious money with Squidoo. Her article was the thing that made me go ahead and give Squidoo a chance.

As with most revenue share gigs, it may take a while for this Squidoo thing to take off for me. But I'll keep you all updated on my progress and share my experience writing for Squidoo as I go. Wish me luck!

Where to Find the Time to Work

Well I'm back in the saddle again today. Ethan made a full recovery and is his usual, happy little self. Adrien and Eva are spending the weekend with their dad and I've been trying to use today to catch up on work.

Which brings me to today's topic – finding the time to work from home. I know that everyone's schedule is different. Some of you have a job outside of home in addition to taking care of your children. Others may have school and sports obligations. You may not be able to use my routine, but that's OK. Take an objective look at your own schedule and find time that works best for you.

My typical day goes something like this. I wake up around 6:30 in the morning to get Ethan dressed and ready for school. Eva usually wakes up around that time as well, so I get her out of bed, fix her a bottle and let her watch a Baby Einstein movie while I dress Ethan.

After Ethan leaves for school, I fix breakfast for Eva and Adrien. We eat and then we all get dressed and ready for the day. I spend the morning playing with them and getting in some good quality time together. Eva lays down for a nap around 9:30-10:00.

While Eva's sleeping, Adrien and I exercise together and then he sits down with a cup of juice and watches cartoons while I pull out the laptop to work. I work until Eva wakes up and then the kids and I eat lunch together.

After lunch, I take the kids to their room to play and I bring my laptop back there with them. They play while I get in a little more time to work. When I'm finished, I join in their play until snack time.
We have snack and then have “afternoon cleanup” where I turn on some dance music and the kids help me pick up all the toys, vacuum the floor, etc. After that, we all load up in the truck to go pick up Ethan from school. Sometimes, we leave a little early if we have to stop by the store or something.
When we get back around 3:00, I lay Eva down for her afternoon nap and I spend a little time with Ethan and Adrien. At 4:20, I start dinner.

Dinner is served at 5:00 with bath time following shortly thereafter. Eva's the first to bed at around 7:00 pm. At that time, Ethan is usually playing quietly in his room and Adrien gets some time at the computer to play games. By 8:00 the boys are in bed and I get ready for bed myself. I try to take a little time to check my mail, facebook, twitter, etc before bed. Sometimes though, I'm just too tired and I go to bed as well.

I do a lot of my work on the weekends when the younger two are with their father. That's also when I try to do most of the errand running and what not.

As you can see, my schedule is pretty loose, with plenty of wiggle room. That's just how it works best for me. This week, I encourage you to try to find some time for starting a few projects of your own. I've just recently started my latest project that I plan on sharing with you tomorrow. :o)

Good luck, mammas! If I can do it, you can do it with me.

Setbacks

I didn't post yesterday and I don't have time to bring you a good post today, but I wanted to let all you mammas out there know what was going on.

My oldest child, Ethan, has been home from school with a severe ear infection. He went to the E.R. last night and got a shot of antibiotics and some pain medicine, so hopefully he'll get better over the weekend.

Working from home, things come up with the kids sometimes that will put your projects on hold. When that happens, don't sweat it. Take a break from your job and focus on taking care of the kids. Once everything goes back to normal, you can buckle down and get back to work. Always put your family first.

I'm taking the weekend off to help Ethan get better. I'll be back on Monday with a good post about time management like I promised. Send some good health wishes our way. I'll catch up with you ladies next week.

The Best Thing About the Future is That it Comes One Day at a Time

Today's title is a quote from Abraham Lincoln. These are words that stay at the forefront of my mind every single day. Working from home is hard. Trying to budget the time to make a living around your children, your chores, your daily demands and distractions is not easy to say the least. You need something, anything, to keep you going.

For me, hopes and dreams of a brighter future fuel my fire. I imagine my future self sitting around the pool at a nice apartment complex on the good side of town. I'm sipping a glass of tea and watching my children swim and splash in the water with huge smiles on their faces. I imagine that all the bills are paid and there's money left over to buy the kids nice things and even plenty left to put back into savings. I am fulfilled and overrun with happiness for the life that I've both built and nurtured for myself and my family.

This is the vision that keeps me going. It's not just wishful thinking, but a future that I have planned out and will work my damnedest to bring to reality. If we don't dream big and set the bar high, we will always settle for less.

For all you mammas out there, what's your ideal future look like? Where would you like you and your children to be in life? Take a little time to think about it until you can see it crystal clear when you close your eyes. As soon as you can imagine it and desire it, you will do anything to earn it.

Tomorrow I'll be talking about time management and how to budget time to work around the kids. I'm going to honest with you, time management isn't exactly my strongest area, but it's something we work from home moms have to do. You can't run a business from home without a routine. So today, focus on your ideal future and what you want out of life and tomorrow we'll talk about how to find the time to make it happen. Just breathe and take it one day at a time.

Everyday I'm Zazzlin'

I figured the best place to start would be with Zazzle. Why? Because I already have a Zazzle store that I made years ago and kind of abandoned. It makes sense to me to start with something I already have that I could add to and grow.

So what's a Zazzle store, you ask? Well listen up mamma and I'll tell you. Zazzle is a print-on-demand company where you can design products like t-shirts, coffee mugs, mouse-pads, etc and when people purchase your designs, Zazzle prints and ships them. The best part is, you get a cut of the purchase price. Pretty cool, huh?

I made my little Zazzle store about two years ago. At first it didn't really earn me much of anything so I moved onto other things. But as time went on, people started buying my designs and before I knew it, I was making the minimum payout every month. So for a couple of years now I've made between 25-50 bucks a month just off of the initial 30 products I designed in the past. Recently however, Zazzle changed the minimum payout to $100, so now I only get paid every couple of months.

My little Zazzle store is not very impressive. I sell products geared towards people in the beauty industry. Most of my customers are Avon or Mary Kay reps, cosmetologists and other people who have businesses that deal with makeup/beauty. You can view my store here.

I figured if I spent a little time overhauling my store and adding tons of new products, that my monthly earnings would increase. Some people have Zazzle stores that do very well, if you get my drift. Now I don't really foresee Zazzle making me the full-time income that I'm looking for, but I strongly believe in diversifying your portfolio.

The more projects you have that can make you money, the more overall money you'll have at the end of the month. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to find out what works for you. If one of your projects starts doing way better than your others, then you've found your niche and can start focusing most or all of your time on your most profitable area. Does that make sense?

So this week's goal for me is to work on boosting my Zazzle sales. Next week, I've got another venture to try out that I was informed of from a few writer friends of mine. I'll tell you all about it then. But first I want to take a week to not only grow my Zazzle business, but also to research this other idea and figure out the best way to get it started. Stay tuned.

To Bodly Go Where No Woman Has Gone Before

Ok, so maybe the title is a bit of a stretch. I'm sure I'm not the first to attempt being a single, stay at home parent. But it isn't a very popular lifestyle as of yet and there are many who still think it's a joke. So for me, it feels like I'm starting an exploration into new, uncharted territory.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes life as a stay at home wife and mother of three. That is until the unthinkable happens. Divorce.

Suddenly my entire world is turned upside down. Before the words "I do" ever passed my lips, the ex and I decided that I would stay at home with the children. My mother raised me and my brother full-time and I thought that I would do the same for my kids.

Going into the marriage, I already had a son, Ethan. Ethan was two years old and wore an adorable little tuxedo on our wedding day. Ethan is the light in my world and the reason behind every breath that I breathe. He is also blind and disabled. He has brain abnormalities and suffers from a genetic condition called Trisomy 8 mosaicism, sometimes called Warkany Syndrome. It's because of Ethan that I was so passionate about staying at home. I couldn't bear to send him to daycare. As a married woman, that decision was easy and my husband supported me.

Over the next six years, my little family grew. Two more bundles of joy came into my life. First, my handsome and very bright son, Adrien and later my beautiful little princess Eva. Needless to say, I have my hands full. ;)

When I finally left my husband I was terrified. I moved into my parent's house, where the kids and I still live as of now. Aside from the love and support that comes from my family, I've been called lazy by my ex and his family. I've been criticized and told to get a job by people who don't even know me. I've been told that I need to suck it up and put my son Ethan in an institution so that I can go back to work. But for me, that's not an option.

Ethan is now eight years old, going on nine. He attends a special education school and is thriving there. He goes to school for the regular school-time hours and is home every afternoon, on holidays and during the summer. Unless I can find a part-time job willing to work around his school schedule, society says that my only other option is to put him in a home.

Regular daycare is not trained or equipped to deal with the needs of Ethan. He is nonverbal, walks only with assistance, is still in diapers and is severely autistic. When people look at him, they tell me I can't possibly keep him at home with me. That soon, he'll be too big for me to care for. But you know what? He's my child, my flesh and blood, for God's sake! He will live at home with me and his siblings. He will be tucked into his own bed at night and given kisses by his own mommy. I will not send him to a home just because it would be easier for me to get a "mainstream" job.

So what's my solution? I'm going to work from home. I've done it in the past for extra money here and there, but from here on out I'm going to need to make a full-time income from home. Seems insane doesn't it? But the way I see it, it's the only shot I've got to keep my family together.

If you're a single mom who would like to work from home and stay with your children, follow this blog. Share a laugh or a tear with me and know that you are not alone. I'll be posting about the things I do for money, what works and what doesn't. You can learn from my mistakes and use some of my successes to create success in your own life. It's going to be a long journey, but I really believe that I can do it. And so can you.

The Inspiration for this Blog and My Life:

 

Ethan, age 8

 

Adrien, age 3

 

 

Eva, age 1